Getting Nowhere

I wanted to title this post "PMS", but I don't think I'd want to read a blog called PMS. But seriously, I feel like b!#@hing today.  Between a girl who sounded like an Asian William Shatner at Dish Network who insisted that I call some company that I'm not sure exists (after researching online and finding nothing) called "Big Safe" who I would have to pay to come out and "mark" where they are supposed to dig a hole for the pole for our satellite dish (because I can't mark my own place where the pole should go on my property?), and then that I pay another $95 for them to come and put in the pole for the dish to be put up.  All of that, after they mounted the dish on a cement slab out back and were supposed to come out when the ground thawed (2 YEARS AGO) to move it up onto a pole and never did. Here is a moment where I believe that women are still very discriminated against - even by other women.  My husband called them back 2 hours later and got a short run around but within 10 minutes, had the technicians scheduled for tomorrow morning at 8am for free.  ????????????????????????? That blows my mind.  Sure, my husband is much calmer and level-headed than am I, but really?  I was on the phone with Mrs. Shatner for 35 minutes and got nowhere!  

Let me just throw in the fact that the song above "Cinderella Man" by Eminem is my new favorite running song.  I got in the door from running today and it started in my headphones and I almost wanted to go back out and start running again!

Next order of business.  My body.  I'd like to always be Miss Sunshine, but I'm just not.  I've been running consistently for 2 months and had lost 9 lbs.  Then I went up to Marquette to help a newborn baby and her father (and I still ran once while I was there, mind you), fell off the wagon a little with pizza eating and beer drinking and by the time I got home, I had gained back 4 lbs... in 5 days. Words cannot describe how angry that makes me.  Basically, I lost one month of busting my a$$ for 5 days of not even serious indulgence!  I still ran and I wasn't eating too much extra.  Ugh.  It's just this woman's body.  As much as I want to love her and embrace her, I feel like she's fighting me.  When I see a big fat gut pouching out and back fat rolls hanging over my bra, I just want to cry.  I feel like I'm working SO HARD.  I guess this is just part of the process.  I'm not going to stop.  I'm going to keep on keeping on and eventually I will learn how much it will take to get into decent shape and drop the extra weight I'm needlessly carrying around this planet.  

Finally, money.  Ugh ugh ugh.  We have so much work to do.  We're not on the same page, my husband and I.  We are, but we aren't.  We need a better plan.  We need a serious budget.  A specific budget so we know exactly on what we can and cannot spend our money each month, each week, each day.  I feel so far behind.  $40,000 of student loans that have transformed into the monster of $64,000 and growing.  By the time it's paid off, I will have probably thrown away nearly $200,000 on that f*#ker. For an MBA that has gotten me NOWHERE.

I have so many wonderful things in my life and I need to immediately blog about those things, in order to center myself back where I belong, but today, I just need to be real about my (most likely fueled by PMS) dissatisfaction with some things in my life.  Some things I need to work on. Time to go finish making dinner.  Props to my husband for letting me sneak into the bedroom to blog for 15 minutes (the boy's been extra needy today).