Round Two

Here we go, again!

I figure it could help me and maybe someone else, if I document my process of having a second child!  That's right, we're doing it, again.  Even though, I SWORE that I wouldn't... lol  I have to say, I never forgot what the first experience was like, instead I had to decide to ignore what I remember.  It was a nightmare.  Much of the pregnancy, the labor, and much of the beginning of the new little guy's life.  I knew deep down that I wanted another biological child, but I knew even more so that I never wanted to create another one.  How, oh how, I pondered, can I figure out how to give birth to a child with no pain and when he or she is already 1 year old?  lol  Yeah, not possible.    

So, I guess I should go back a month, when D and I first started trying to get pregnant, again.  We were successful, but the pregnancy was not healthy and I lost it about 3 days before my period.  Now, you might wonder how on Earth I already knew that early.  I can give credit for that (if credit is deserved) to two things.  The first is the wonderful website www.early-pregnancy-tests.com which offers pregnancy tests at around $1 a piece, which blows the store bought $12-$17 tests out of the water as far as affordability is concerned.  And, they are just as accurate, if not more so, than the store bought tests.  The second thing is anxiety and depression, to be quite frank.  Because I have to stop taking my medications when we start trying to get pregnant, I have to have as much precise information as I can, so that I'm not spending too much time unmedicated and not pregnant.  It's a cocktail for disaster.  And that's where my story starts. 

If you do the math, you can figure that I was pregnant for 11 days.  During that time, I quickly realized that the second time around was going to be VERY different from the first pregnancy.  For example, MY BACK.  OH MY GOSH, did it hurt!!  And when I sneezed, I felt sharp pains in my lower abdomen.  What I realized and confirmed with my OB is that because my body has already done it once, it knows what to do.  More technically, my brain has developed the receptors for certain hormones, like relaxin, so that as soon as the hormone is produced, my ligaments start to loosen right away.  So, the pain in my abdomen, that was the ligaments loosening and that's also why my back was killing me.  But, as I said before, that pregnancy didn't last, so after 11 days of accelerated loosening, everything had to go back!  So, after I lost the baby, I was sick for three days.  And once I felt better physically, the depression hit me.  I started back on my medications, as needed.  Since, you can't know for certain when you're ovulating, I was trying to air on the safe side, by staying off my meds as much as possible, but I simply had to start back taking them as needed.  I got back on Zoloft daily (considered "safe" during pregnancy), and was taking the Klonopin only as needed (not considered "safe" during pregnancy).  I should mention that before this pregnancy, I hadn't had a period for three months.  Don't know why!  Anyway, I say that because once I started my period, it was killer.  I was so depressed and my cramps were so painful (coupled with the healing back of all the loosened stuff) that I just layed around for several days.  I just wasn't worth a damn.  My poor son and husband, but that's it own blog.

So, fast forwarding to this month.  I was religious about taking the ovulation tests (also from www.early-pregnancy-tests.com) so that I could take my meds until the last minute.  I was tracking my BBT (basal body temperature) as well, so I could be as sure as possible.  According to those methods, it appeared that I ovulated on 12/10/12 or 12/11/12.  Well, we had TTC (tried to conceive - the nice way of saying it hehe) the night before, and because I was exhausted, that was that.  We just said, well, that's close enough.  lol  Our sex life after having a child is another separate blog I could write.  lol  About 2 days later, I was nauseous.  In addition, MY BACK, again.  It was only at night.  I had to use a heating pad in bed every night.  And it wasn't just my lower back, it was my whole back.  I've never experienced anything like this.  Not even after working out too hard back in the day!  I felt like all my back muscles were on fire!  So, the point is, I knew.  I told D I'm pregnant - again.  After about 4 or 5 days of the intense evening back pain, it subsided, just as did the abdominal pain at sneezing.  But my belly was just sticking out there!!  I was bloated and I looked about 4 months pregnant, and I couldn't suck it in!  It was crazy!  And yesterday, that subsided some, too.  The bloating, anyway.

Two mornings ago - 8 DPO (days past ovulation), I got a negative pregnancy test and I was depressed, more.  Ugh, really?  I had to keep remembering how much crap a lot of other people have to go through and how long it can take to become pregnant for some, to remember that two months of anxiety and depression is no price to pay for another family member.  Also, it was only 7-8 DPO!  When I was pregnant with DJ, I got the faintest line on a test 9 DPO, which is really the first day that any of those tests (no matter what they say) can possibly register HcG (pregnancy hormone). 

So, I sucked it up and waited until this morning... it would be 9-10 DPO.  And sure enough, I got that faint line!  So, it looks like we're starting this ride, again.  And in the midst of it all... DJ is throwing up with a fever, the poor guy!  The poor mama!!  lol  I'll live.  I'm just happy to say that - for now - we are pregnant. 

Like I said, here we go, again!