Exhaustion, Part I

"Maybe the sky's falling down around the babies.  Maybe the world is going to spin out of control.  I don't care, anymore.  What if I quit today working for the man and said I had enough. Well, maybe I can.  It's all going to end, anyway.  Tell me doctor, what's the cure for the wicked man's blues?  Fly dragonfly."
 - Dragonfly, Shaman's Harvest


I pride myself on being a positive person by choice and through practice.  I wasn't naturally so.  I used to be a very negative person.  I'm sure that depression was a huge part of that and now that I've gotten into a place where depression does not run my days, keeping a positive perspective is easier.  But it did take a lot of realization, a lot of work, and lot of focus.  That's why it's interesting to me that I still love songs like Dragonfly that are so hopeless.  I guess I will always understand, even if I don't feel that way.  But I also see perspectives like that one as a beginning - it's seems hopeless, but there is hope there.  Because really, he's right... it is all going to end, anyway, so maybe he can stop working for the man.  It's actually a realization of freedom, in my opinion.  I have been there.  


I have to stop for a second to make it clear that I have not yet written a whole post in one sitting.  Just now, I stopped to get DJ up from a nap, prepare and feed him his breakfast.  Right now, he's eating some finger food in his high chair, so I have about 2 minutes to type some more.  Actually, he's already whining to get out of his high chair.  lol  

Just another thing to note about motherhood.  Even your own journaling time has to come second to the little one(s).  I am sure that given I stay at home with my boy, I have more opportunities to journal than a working mom, if she can do it at all.  But it is really important.  


Today is one of those days where I'm so tired, I could just sit on the couch and watch tv all day and let DJ play by himself.  He's still all phlegmy and coughing and I woke up with a sore throat.  Nevertheless, during his morning nap, I gave our 107 lb dog Prime a medicated bath for his thyroid-related skin issues that he so desperately needed.  Vet says that after about 6 months on this thyroid medication (he's already lost 10 lbs on the past month), his skin and weight will be normal.  I must say, it is nice having a clean dog sitting next to me.  :)  Anyway, seriously, I'm so tired, and I'm watching DJ, so I can't even maintain a thought process of any consequence, so I'm just going to wrap it up for today. 

Here's Prime at about 90 lbs, before the thyroid disease started: